the game

Guys, step up your game. I say this in the most tender and gentle way i know how. I don't know if its just the sample of dudes ive been encountering or if the whole male population has somehow dwindled to become all half retarded and charmless, but i say this for your sake.

Yes, I have a boyfriend. i love him very much and he is perfect. but i also enjoy bantering and having a good conversation with a stranger who is also willing to buy me drinks. Charles doesnt mind; it saves him money.

So here it goes, things that guys do that will turn off any girl. any quality girl anyway:

1.) coming up to me with no conversation starter in mind. just approaching me with a stupid "hi" or "hey" is not going to catch my attention. children have better pick up lines than that. they can go up to me and be like "TAG YOURE IT" and ill be more interested.

2.)the only thing worse than ugly guys is ugly guys that think theyre fucking hot. dont confuse this with confidence. confidence is very different from douchebaggery. learn the difference. dont get me wrong. i will never be mean to a guy who is sincere, no matter how he looks. if hes just genuinely nice, i love that. but if you walking around like you got that brad pitt swagger and you look gollum and you act like im blessed that you even paid attention to me, im going to fucking laugh in your face and hit that drink right out of your hand.

3.)guys that brag to compensate for their lack of personality. its cool that you go to law school or med school, but dont fucking throw it in my face like you already ballin or ur Jesus. It's cool if you slip it in the conversation but dont make that a focal point about you. this also goes for your car. i dont give a shit what you drive.

4.)CHEAP guys. OMGG. here is the deal. if you buy me a drink and you dont know how to tip the bartender, next. (rule of thumb :it usually 1 dollar per drink. but you should always tip more than that.)
a.)if you buy me a drink and ask for one for return...i dont even know what to say.

5.)guys that have no sense of humor or dont get my jokes. no need for elaboration.

6.) guys that say "so can i have your number" straight off the bat. like right after "hello". no you cant fucking have my number. i dont even fucking know you. and when i ask why they say something stupid like "to get to know you". barf. get a new line.

7.)guys that ask "so do you have a boyfriend" right away. its just awkward. bc i will reply like "yes i have a boyfriend and he is bad ass. he is like Optimus Prime and Aslan rolled into one." (even if i didnt have a bf)

8.)important: if you buy a girl a drink, that gives you no right to dance with her or be all over her the whole night (unless she so chooses so). the best thing to do is buy her a drink,compliment her, make her laugh and walk away. for added points, make sure she sees you having fun with other chicks. she will be hooked. girls love being ignored so when she runs into you again, shell be happy to see you again instead calling you "that creepy guy who keeps staring at me".


there's more but i have to go back to studying. this is enough distraction.